In the mornings, sometimes I like to sit in my dining room and read because the sun fills the room with it’s magnificence and energy. While sitting there this morning, a robin has been flying into my sliding glass doors.
It is an amazing thing to watch. Mr. Robin stands on the deck railing for a little while then takes off and flies into the door, hitting it two times, then back to the railing. I close the blinds thinking perhaps this would help him realize he cannot get in. Hearing the thumps on the door, I know he has not learned anything from this. Opening and closing the blinds quickly does not deter him. So, I sit and watch his determination.
What is he trying to accomplish, I wonder? For over an hour now of hitting the glass door, has he not caught on that he is only hurting his beak by the constant hitting into the window? When does he finally understand that this exercise in futility is getting him no where?
Mr. Robin certainly has determination and what a wonderful trait that is. As I sit here and watch Mr. Robin continually hit the glass doors, not being able to get in the door, not getting any food or nourishment from this, I can’t help but wonder just what is he getting out of this?
It made me realize how determination, although it is a wonderful quality to have, when used improperly can actually hurt us. How many times have I been unconsciously determined to hurt my own psyche? How many times have I tried to get someone to like me, tried to do something that was really beyond what I could do, tried to help someone who does not want my help, how many times have I sat unconsciously determined to waste precious time on the internet when I could be using that time for doing something constructive, how many times have I worked on a relationship trying to get it to work but all the time knowing it couldn’t? All that negative determination is just self-sabotage.
As I continue to write, Mr. Robin is still hitting against the doors more and more furiously. He certainly has an agenda but what it is I can’t even try to imagine as I know nothing about birds. However, I do know a little bit about the human psyche.
Mr. Robin has made me realize that determination, which is a good thing, when used for something hopeless is an assault against our self-esteem and self-worth. He has reminded and retaught me that sometimes you just have to let something go. Instead of using that wonderful trait of determination fighting for something that is not good for us, we should be using it towards something that will help build our self-worth and confidence. We can activate that force to achieve our goals and dreams. That is the healthy way to utilize determination.
Two hours have gone by and Mr. Robin is still at it. I want to help him but I have no idea how to. Is his determination going to be what finally knocks him out? Why can’t he use this wonderful gift to do something good for himself, like finding some food?
P.S. I left the dining room but kept going back to see if he was still there. I just had to know how long Mr. Robin was going to keep this up. He did this for four hours ! ??