Yes, tomorrow I am going skydiving. I am saying this more to myself than to anyone reading this. This is an item on my bucket list. Many years ago, I wanted to do this. Everyone told me “NO don’t do it, you’ll get hurt or worse.” So ~ I did not do it.
However, tomorrow, I am taking the plunge, excuse the pun. My anxiety is very high. I have eaten everything in the house as if it were going to be the last food I would ever eat. I feel as if I am going to be sick, but I want to consume more. Yesterday, I came down with a cold ~ therefore telling myself ~ I can’t jump with a cold.
Today the cold seems to be gone yet my body aches. Well, of course, I can’t jump with everything hurting. It will only make it worse. And, it is windy out. I will probably end up in another state with this wind.
I moved from Florida to New York five years ago. Last week I made an appointment to change my will and trust made in Florida to the New York version. I have an appointment for Monday. Does that make sense, I ask myself? Shouldn’t I have the will in place before Saturday’s jump?
For a long time I have been telling myself, I need to clean out my car. Today, it seemed very important for me to do this. Seems I will do anything not to think about tomorrow.
Fear, I hear and feel you rolling around my mind and body and I am not liking it. I am doing this to get past my fears. Did I have to pick something so dramatic to conquer fear? Isn’t walking across the street in Manhattan scary enough?
Calling all Angels, I will be up there in the sky with you tomorrow! Calming myself, I think of Angels surrounding me as I descend back to earth.
Actually, I have done hang gliding off Mt. Whistler in Canada. But that was different. I was just taking a tram ride up the mountain, casually walked over to the hut to get information about how hang gliding works. Before I knew it, I was signed up and OFF the mountain. It didn’t hurt that the instructor with me was a cutie And I loved the experience. Tomorrow will be the same, I tell myself. I am not believing it.
But tomorrow is different. I have too much time to think about it. I have watched the video of how to do it. The thought of standing at the edge of the airplane, and I don’t care if the instructor is a cutie, I am petrified. Clearly, I must be out of my mind.
A seven page wavier I printed off the sky dive website and the papers sit on the desk. These papers actually have the word “death” on them, saying I hold no one but myself responsible for my death. For certain, I have lost my marbles. My three children do not know about this. I do not want anyone to talk me out of it, yet, I am screaming inside for someone or something to give me an excuse not to jump.
Okay, enough. I will keep busy and pray for a thunderstorm or at the very least a tornado for tomorrow. Ah, I feel better already. It is the weather’s fault that I can’t jump tomorrow, not mine.
To be continued…….